Secrets of the Gods
Thor: “You said it yourself, Jormungandr! The trouble with godhood is that it robs you of your finer judgment! And that is why we will never be the same. You are a mighty fighter, but in the end, you are only a selfish creature while heroes…heroes have an infinite capacity for stupidity! Thus are legends born!”
Thor #380
Thor has lived for millennia and fought many foes. Along the way, you know he must have buried a few secrets. Escapades he isn’t proud of, friends and foes that he keeps out of sight, perhaps a few things so hidden that even he doesn’t remember them.
So what are Thor’s greatest secrets? Let’s find out.
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#5 Thor Secret: Asgardia on Earth
Iron Man: “You asked us to build a city fit for gods. This is better.”
Mighty Thor #11 (2012)
Thor’s home Asgard is in another dimension. The distance can make it difficult for Asgardians to connect with people from Midgard (Earth). Our first Thor Secret is the time when Asgard could be found on Earth.
While fighting powerful villains, Thor was forced to begin an apocalypse called Ragnarok. He won and was able to stop the end of everything, but Asgard was shattered and its people lost their memories. Thor reassembled his broken home in Broxton, Oklahoma, and set out to find his people.
Thor found the Asgardians over time and they settled into their new home. New Asgard was attacked by the Green Goblin and his Dark Avengers in an attempt to destroy what he viewed as invaders. The Asgardians’ home was destroyed again before the villains were defeated. Iron Man then rebuilt Asgard into a flying city called Asgardia.
Unfortunately, a monster named Mangog hijacked the city’s controls and sent Asgardia hurtling into the sun. Jane Foster, the new Thor, defeated Mangog and trapped him on Asgardia to burn while Thor evacuated the city.
Odin was shaken by the near extinction of his people and probably pissed that Asgard had been destroyed three times in less than a decade. He decreed that they would return to their home dimension and rebuild. And so ended Asgard’s time on Earth.
#4 Throg
Cover: “What do you call a 6’6’ fighting-mad frog? (Answer inside).”
Thor #366
Title: “SIR!”
Asgardia was such a grim story. Let’s hop over to a more ribbit-ing tale. Our next Thor Secret is the time he learned that it’s not easy being green.
Loki weaved an enchantment spell on a woman and sent her to Thor. She kissed him and he was transformed into a frog, in defiance of narrative tradition. Thor was unable to lift Mjolnir and struggled to survive against the violent rats of New York.
Thor was rescued by Puddlegulp, a human who had also been transformed into a frog. They went to a pond where the Frog King told them of the war between frogs and rats. Thor won the war by luring an alligator out of the sewers to eat the rats. Thor’s valor allowed him to lift Mjolnir, regain his powers and height. He defeated Loki and broke the curse.
Puddlegulp appeared on occasion as a friend of Thor. During the event War of the Realms, he was given a sliver of Thor’s hammer, which became a frog-sized replica called Frogjolnir. This hammer gave him Thor’s power and allowed Puddlegulp to become the Mighty Throg. What are the writers drinking and where can I get some?
Throg made a cameo appearance in Loki as a Variant who had been trapped in a bottle. Who knows if he’ll ever make it into the MCU proper. That said, remember that Disney also owns The Muppets. There really isn’t anything stopping them from making Kermit the Frog into the MCU Throg. …Oh, my God. Was the Bifrost Bridge the Rainbow Connection all along?!
#3 Thor Secret: Herald of Thunder
Galactus: “I did not happen upon Asgard. I did not come here for asylum… if you are to be my end, Thunder God… then we will kill the Black Winter together. And when we are done… I would have you close. So that I may have words with thee. Until then… rise… Herald of Thunder!”
Thor #1 (2020)
Thor is already one of the strongest Avengers, rivaled only by Hulk and Captain Marvel. But once, he truly became the strongest. And all it took was a deal with the devil. Or rather, with Galactus: the Devourer of Worlds.
Thor became the king of Asgard, but missed the carefree superhero life. His boredom was interrupted by Galactus, who had fought an abomination called the Black Winter. That monster has the ability to show victims how they will die and showed Galactus his death at Thor’s hand. The king reluctantly agreed to help Galactus because he knew the Black Winter was the bigger threat. Galactus shared the Power Cosmic with Thor, transforming him into his Herald.
Thor traveled the galaxy to find five specific worlds that Galactus could devour to become all-powerful. He clashed with many space-faring heroes over working with the being who had killed countless planets. Thor himself came to blows with Galactus to buy time for one of the planets to evacuate its people.
Thor and the souped-up Galactus fought the Black Winter, which was revealed to be a being similar to Galactus that fed on universes instead of worlds. Even worse, Galactus is its Herald and had sought Thor out to kill his boss. Thor was enraged at being made a cats-paw and turned Galactus into a bomb to destroy both Devourers. He returned to Asgard, haunted by the Black Winter’s last vision of his own death at the hands of Thanos and the Marvel Zombies.
Fun Fact: The Black Winter destroys a world which is supposed to stand-in for the DC Universe at the start of the story, with the narration all but name-dropping the Justice League’s members. It’s also heavily implied that anyone who gazes into the Black Winter sees Darkseid as its avatar.
#2 Thor Secret: Mjolnir’s Other Wielders
Thor: [thrown to the ground] “My hammer… where…?”
DC vs Marvel Comics
Wonder Woman: “Here.” [hands it to him and charges into battle]
Thor: “Thank yo… hold on, how did?”
We’ve talked at length about this awesome Norse hammer. It’s killed gods, destroyed planets, and its forging wiped out the dinosaurs. The inscription on its side claims that it can only be wielded by those Mjolnir deems worthy. Our penultimate Thor Secret is Mjolnir’s wielders.
Odin was the first to use Mjolnir after trapping a living cosmic thunderstorm in it. He eventually gave it to his son, Thor. It has also been used by Loki and by Odin’s ancestors, Buri and Bor. I guess being part of the royal family automatically makes you worthy. Frikkin’ Right of Divine Kings.
Many Avengers have wielded Mjolnir, including Captain America, Wonder Man, The Awesome Android, and Thunderstrike. The hammer was once taken by a monster called Beta Ray Bill, foreshadowing that the apparent alien invader was a hero. Jane Foster, Thor’s girlfriend, used Mjolnir to join the Avengers as the new Thor.
Don’t think that you have to be from Marvel to be worthy. In JLA/Avengers Superman dual-wielded Mjolnir and Captain America’s shield to lead a charge against an army of villains from both universes. Wonder Woman picked it up during DC vs Marvel Comics and was poised to use it against Storm of the X-Men in a fight that could cause the destruction of their worlds. She instead proved her worthiness by casting Mjolnir aside because it was an unfair advantage, even though she lost.
These aren’t all of the wielders, of course. Others have used Mjolnir through convoluted means or a one-time exception in a dangerous situation. But we’ll be here all day if we go through all of them, so we’re cutting it here.
#1 Angela: Sister of Thor
Thor: “One sibling this annoying is misfortune! What warlock has cursed me to have two?”
Angela: Asgard’s Assassin
Even Thor didn’t know the final Thor Secret. We’ll need to take a day trip from Marvel to fellow superhero publisher Image Comics to learn about his sister from another mister: Angela.
Angela was created by Neil Gaiman when he was invited to write an issue of Todd McFarlane’s acclaimed Spawn series. She was an angel who served as Heaven’s assassin. Angela tried killing the demonic Spawn, but slowly became his ally after realizing he was a hero. She was killed by the devil Malebogia and sent to Heaven, where she was resurrected.
Marvel bought the rights to Angela and inserted a new version of her into their universe. She was now Aldrif Odinsdottir, the long lost sister of Thor. Asgard was attacked by a realm called “Heven” and the infant Aldrif was seemingly killed. A grieving Odin used his powers to seal Heven away from the rest of the nine realms.
Aldrif was found by an angel, who chose to raise her as one of their own. Say, Loki, why does that sound familiar? Aldrif was renamed Angela and raised to be a warrior and mercenary par excellence. Time travel shenanigans brought her into contact with the Guardians of the Galaxy, who helped her find Thor.
Angela fought Thor several times before learning that they were siblings. He offered her a place in Asgard, but she refused because she had grown up thinking of Asgardians as enemies. With her true parentage revealed, the angels of Heven cast her out. Anglea now searches for her own place in the universe and is reluctantly an ally of Thor.
I’m calling it now: If there’s a Thor 5, Angela will be introduced as a main character. Time will tell if I’m right. Until then, tell us in the comments who you would like to see playing her.
Didya Get all that?
No amount of thunder and lightning can hide Thor’s secrets.
Image: Chris Hemsworth as Thor in Marvel Studios’ THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER. Photo by Jasin Boland. ©Marvel Studios 2022. All Rights Reserved.
Jared Bounacos has written for Movie Rewind since 2016.
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